Giving To Receive
In Chi Sau and in life, Keep Balanced
‘Giving To Receive’
This is a strange thought and a strange concept, and I’m sure that many of you will initially disagree with the statement, but when we think about it honestly there is much truth in this.
Today is the 1st December and gifts at Christmas would be the obvious thing, we give presents and we receive presents, for the lucky ones of us that is, but even this can vary on so many levels.
What if you give a gift to a friend (which a you feel is a wonderful gift), and yet the one you get back from them is not so good?
How would you feel by this?
Short changed maybe?
But why should you?
This on its most shallow level is purely giving to receive, in this way you might as well both just go out and buy yourselves something you both wanted in the first place.
What if you knew this friend had no money?
Now it begins to change.
Or does it?
This idea of giving to receive was first put to me by a very clever man, Guru Charan Singh who believed this on such a deep level.
His thoughts were along the lines that perhaps giving that nice gift was given so that you would have a warm feeling inside, therefore you gave a gift in order to receive comfort through giving.
How many times when driving have you let somebody out of a junction and felt good by getting a friendly wave of gratification?
And by contrast how many times have you let someone out at traffic, only to get pi**ed off that they did not even raise an index finger to thank you.
So… did you only let that person out to get thanked?
We may say that love is the exception, especially the love between a parent and a child, what we know as unconditional love, but in general we tend to give something in order to get something back, however much we deny it.
Of course in life it would be wonderful to give a gift anonymously and care nothing of it, neither the joy in giving or the sadness in losing (the money that is), but this could be done by way of a monthly standing order to a needy charity?
Or even by just giving the gift of your time to help someone in need.
How abut letting someone out with the hope that they will NOT thank you, and that you will NOT get annoyed by this?
As Buddha said;
‘Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.’
Now when to bring this thought into Chi Sau, we find the same attitude, BUT, this time we are (or should be) in control of this idea.
To give an example of this, let’s say you and I are both in a single arm position for instance:
I may push forwards a little, and if you try to overpower me, I Lap Sau
I may push forwards a little, and if you try to match me, I Pak Sau
I may push forwards a little, and if you try to absorb me, I Gum Sau
In this way I am giving something to receive, a spark to light the fire if you like, BUT, we must NEVER do anything you cannot recover from.
If I start the push forwards but I am too strong then it will be me who is Lapped, understanding this mentality will keep you balanced and safe.
A balanced game of Chi Sau and a balanced life are the keys to happiness.